We encounter so many people in our day-to-day lives, some become our precious friends while some just get listed in our hate list. And who is on that hate list? the meanies. But what does it mean when one says- “Wow! You’re so mean!”. As an emotion, it is the one that is characterized by malice. And by definition, those who are regarded as such, the classic “mean people”, are simply- hateful with a lack of honor and empathy. They make our life “a living hell”. Thus, forcing us to look for answers like “How to deal with mean people?”
So? Has there been a case when you’ve encountered a classic “Regina George” (the epitome of a mean person, a character from the movie mean girls) and cowered in fear? Or were you the “tit for tat” kind of person? Should we become the evil we want to fight? The answer is obviously NO! However, one needs to know the evil right? So let’s know the psychology of mean people and their irrational behavior and how to deal with their annoying two-faced selves!
Mean people make you doubt your self and with time, this self-doubt becomes our self-neglect leading to what we call “depression”. We’ve seen so many movies with bullies and so we’re well versed with their end! The main protagonist always beats the shit out of that mean chick. So are you that main protagonist? Keep reading to find out!
Now without further delay, let’s beat those baddies! Wow, cool down! Not with our fists but “our intellect”. Let’s show them, the smart ones- remain unbothered!
Find And Know How To Deal With Mean People
You’d be blessed if you’ve never encountered mean people in your life, but that would be a fairytale as the world is full of them. And if you think that you haven’t met them, then you’re simply naive and pushover to not have ever recognized one, or YOU are them! So for those who don’t know, there are a number of ways by which you can recognize when a person is behaving in a meany way. Keep reading to find out!
Your Natural Reaction: An Encounter With a Mean Person
- Recognizing a Meany Behavior: For those angels who can’t identify a mean behavior when encountering the same, this is for you! If you find yourself in constantly sticky situations whereby you’re getting blamed for others mistakes, where someone is constantly being rude to you, where your small actions are the target of someone’s unnecessary laughter, where you’re getting overburdened doing others’ tasks, someone’s negativity and mood swings affect you badly, and many more, then congratulations, it’s a mean person alert! These people are simply what we call- “toxic people”.
Thus, it’s extremely important for a person to even choose his/her friend circle wisely as the most toxic and jealous person is always one who is rather placed close by! But an important reminder here is that all these emotions or reactions are one’s own so it always depends on one’s perceptions! But in all, if a person is simply walking all over your existence, term it as mean. Or simply, just go watch Mean Girls!
- Emotions and Reactions: A couple of times such encounters always result in some sudden outburst of emotions, it may be a surprise at first and later accompanied by anger, fear, helplessness, sadness, and all such overwhelming amount of emotions. These emotions then compel us to behave and react in a certain manner that defines our next course of action and what outcome would it bring. No one is naturally strong, sometimes we simply fake our reactions to get out of sticky situations. The natural reaction of a strong person is always to confront such outrageous actions that at times may solve the problem or simply escalate into a further counter-reaction starting a chain of reactions until the Meany ends up in your hate book.
- Outcome: The outcome of your emotions and reactions sometimes might end in serious violence or mental trauma characterized by depression. Thus, it becomes very important to know how to deal with such outrageous behavior. Such instances, especially in kids can lead to life-long anxiety and social disorders. They become shut-ins for life unwilling to move out of the safety of their home. This situation is termed “hikikomori” by a Japanese psychologist whereby kids, teenagers, or even adults refuse to leave their homes due to some unexpected happenings in their past. Which leads to the development of huge mistrust and hatred towards humankind in general.
A Mean Person’s Psychology
To understand the psychology of mean people, one needs to step in their shoes to find out what has caused them to behave in a certain manner and what do they drive out of such inexplicable behavior.
- Why Are They Mean?: It is observed that people who have had some serious issues in childhood like some childhood trauma incorporate a mean behavior in themselves as a safety mechanism to deal with everything. A neglected upbringing most times leads to a person’s lack of empathy for other humankind as we simply reflect what we receive! And in this case, it’s NOTHING. Additionally, too much pampering also leads to a person’s mean behavior as they’re used to getting everything on a silver platter and any hardship or hurdle is unacceptable to them. Simply for such people, the whole world is there to serve them. A classic ROYALTY BEHAVIOR! And then there’s a case where a person simply mirrors the behavior they’ve encountered so far, and that is mirroring the actions of their parents.
- Emotions and Reactions: Mean people project their needs and expectations on others. All their emotions starting from their wants, responsibilities, perceptions of others, and most importantly, their expectations from themselves and others, and the high standards they’ve set for themselves leads to unnecessary clashes. If you’re a fan of K-dramas then you know how those pampered chaebol kids act, it’s simply that behavior. Sometimes taking a turn of extreme violence projected on others who refuse to comply with their needs. To what all pent-up anguish they have accumulated over the years, it is reflected on others.
- Outcome: What do they drive out of it? Simply- satisfaction. As a human reaction, it’s always a nice feeling to be on the top of the pyramid. This hierarchy that exists in the world makes people drive the feeling of satisfaction and immense pleasure from looking at what all lies beneath them. Thus here comes the most important answer to what we’ve been seeking so far, how to deal with mean people! Simply, deny them of such satisfaction.
Ways To Handle Mean People
- Look for Whys? As we’ve identified so far, mean people drive the feeling of satisfaction by exploiting those who are beneath them in the social hierarchy. Simply denying them their self-satisfaction never does the complete job. Whenever we see such people, the first human reaction must always be to identify and enquire what caused such behavior in them. Try to find the root of the problem.
Look for the why’s and what’s and then go for how’s. Find out what have they been doing so far and to what extent their mean behavior can expand and why have they been doing that. At last look for how’s, how can you handle such sticky situations and most importantly such troublesome human being. Look for answers to whether this person can be cured of their meany behavior. Find answers for whether this person’s behavior is always like this or something or some actions triggers them into behaving in a certain way. Then VOILA! Problem solved. But the first and foremost thing is paying attention to the root and then going to the tree.
- Minimize the Impact: Once you’ve identified the reason the person acts in a certain way, TAKE ACTION! At first, try to pacify the situation so it doesn’t get out of hand. Pacifying here doesn’t mean you have to put up with any kind of rude behavior. It simply means if a person is shouting, you don’t have to shout back to make the situation seem like a dog’s barking booth! Simply try to make the person understand the situation calmly as anger always leads to unwanted outcomes. And if the person you’re dealing with is a simple crackhead, report him/her to the authorities. Just remember! DON’T YOU DESTROY YOUR PEACE and never let others do the same.
- Ignore: If you think ignoring a rude person is good for the time being then it is advisable to follow through. Although it’s a temporary situation, if it’s a sane person, he/she will leave you alone. Here, ignore if you can, take action if you must!
- Talk it Out: If an unwanted situation arises due to someone’s unexpected behavior, it’s always advisable to never keep it to yourself and always talk it out with your loved ones. In this way, you make sure you’re not suffering alone. As never being open about your sufferings kills you from inside. Hidden traumas and pent-up feelings lead to depression and why must we endure when we can always retaliate.
- Be a Bigger Person and Irritate Them: A simple tit for tat technique. If they’re rude be rude. Make them understand in the language they understand. As when being a “damsel in distress” has ever been helpful. Show them how fierce you can be too and bare your teeth, you can bark and bite as well. But remember, never compromise your morals in the way, don’t be them when you know you’re just temporarily dealing with them. Never forget your true self on the way.
- Be United: If it’s certain that a person has some serious issues and talking doesn’t help. Then put some sense into the crackhead by being united with your friends and confronting them. Make them know that you’re never alone. There is strength in being united. Take advantage of numbers and intimidate the hell out of the person. To all the people who have been bullied, be a force to be reckoned with so you’re never vulnerable to some mean individual’s bitchiness.
It’s a real-world we live in and not some reality TV show where a hero will come to save your poor self. You have to step up for yourself when you’re dealing with a huge number of people on a daily basis. A vulnerable person is always attacked so make your mind and body so strong that no outside force can disrupt your equilibrium, and if by chance it is not your good day, always have a backup force who serves as your pillar. Mean people can never be completely done away with, the only thing one can do is try and learn. They sometimes bring out the resilient you on your journey to fight such bullies.
Feature Image Credits: Unsplash