“My wife, who was unusually silent, excused herself to go to the toilet… I was about to call the police, when she finally texted back, saying she was at home.”
It’s not something we plan for, or even enjoy, but sometimes you just can’t avoid it.
One man has posted to Reddit about his wife’s reaction to what she refers to as a “fat shaming” and he’s been called out by both sides of the family, but is he really in the wrong?
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He was left waiting and she didn’t return. Source: iStock.
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A wedding anniversary date night
“I care very much about my health and fitness. I worked out at the gym frequently (pre pandemic anyway, but I still work out regularly at home) and I stick to a good diet,” the man wrote in his post to Reddit.
“My wife is very overweight. I don’t mind, I have encouraged her in the past to try to be healthier, but she told me to stop and I respected her wishes.”
Some time ago, the couple were headed out to dinner for their anniversary when they bumped into a woman the man knew from the gym. He introduced them to each other even though they’d met before and nothing out of the ordinary seemed to go down… yet.
“While we were waiting, one of my friends from the gym saw me and started to make conversation,” he continued.
“We talked about what diets we were using, what our workout plans were, etc.
“My wife, who was unusually silent, excused herself to go to the toilet.”
She was at home in the bedroom. Source: iStock.
She never came back
The friend went on her way and the man was left waiting for his wife to return from the bathroom, but she never did. Their train came and went and there was no sign of her so he shot her a text to make sure she was OK.
“I was about to call the police, when she finally texted back, saying she was at home,” he said, adding that he was even more confused when he realised their car was no longer parked at the train station.
He called and Uber and returned home to find his wife in the bedroom.
“She told me that when I was talking with my friend about fitness, it made her very uncomfortable about her weight,” he said.
“So, I kid you not, she lied to me about using the toilet, and took the car back home.”
An argument ensued, the man was angry he’d been abandoned at the train station without warning, and so the wife left and went to her parents’ place.
He said, “She then texted my entire family, telling them stuff like ‘I hated her because of her weight’ and stuff like that. They’ve been blowing up my phone, telling me what a jerk I am and that fat shaming isn’t cool.”
He tried to explain what really happened, but nobody will listen to him. He’s asked if he’s really in the wrong on this one.
Most people agreed the man was not in the wrong on this occasion, but he should perhaps have been more supportive of his wife when he learnt why she’d left.
“You saw a buddy and were talking about your fitness hobby and interests… That’s not fat-shaming,” commented one person.
“If she’s just said you’re fat-shaming for talking with someone else about a common interest between you and then, that she herself isn’t interested in, that’s her problem.
“It sounds like the wife is insecure over the fact that OP is in shape and has in shape female gym buddies.”
Another added, “I think your wife is extremely sensitive about her weight. You need an open and frank discussion with her on what her actual problem is because you weren’t fat-shaming.”
“She needs to realise that she can’t punish you for how she feels, that negativity will push you away and ruin your marriage.
“Communication is the key right now and supporting each other.”
Can you understand how this woman felt in that moment? Communication is so important in a relationship, but it can be a difficult task when emotions are high.